So my entire life has been spent running head-first at anything that comes my way with no thought as to consequences and repercussions. Because this is how I tackle life, it very seldom dawns on me that maybe I should not be quite so confident when it comes to the unchartered. Well……this internship has managed to do what life itself couldn’t. There is just something about Raven being behind me that makes me freeze up.
While this isn’t a physical kind of freeze, it is mental, creative lock-down. I have NO IDEA why and that bothers me most of all. As frustrating as this is I think it’s doing me a ton of good! It’s forcing me to leave any comfort-zone I may have, ignore the surroundings (including my BOSS standing RIGHT THERE!!), and focus on finding my groove.
I went to a couple of shoots with Raven recently and looking back on the first one I am soooooo disappointed in myself. The model was super pretty and tons of fun and the shots are fine, but fine doesn’t cut it in an industry so saturated with talent. The ability to push out a technically perfect shot that’s well exposed, composed properly and flattering just isn’t enough. My shots from this session were just that…. technically great. But for the most part completely uninteresting in my opinion at least! No fun lighting, no true interaction between the subject and the lens, just safe and well…. fine. And to top it all off it’s totally MY FAULT! I froze and that’s all there is to it! I did some safe head shots that were beautiful (because Hannah is beautiful) and a couple with some interesting lighting, but still nothing that hasn’t been done (by me and the rest of the world) a million times. At one point I wanted to play with motion in the hair so I had Hannah whip her hair around to look at me. I like the shot but it would have been 10 times better had I been able to convey to her exactly what I was wanting. All I could think to say was “when you turn to me, keep your chin down”. How’s that for vague? Well…. we live and we learn.
After this shoot, I realized that I have done this in the past also. I get an idea in my head and allow that concept to block out spur of the moment creativity. My goal from here forward is to make sure I’m focused and thinking; no matter who the subject is or what’s going on around me.
Thanks for looking!
Molly
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